@beachmom Love that idea, thanks!

Oh man. Let's discuss. Yeah, I had a similar conversation with my husband but I never shoot him down, we have sex once ish a week which I think is miraculous because he also says we are doing too much and has no energy so I'm not sure when he thinks there's time for more sex in there among all that. He said it's a little boring (I did not love his suggestions on how to improve that lol). Someone has to have an idea on this? I keep emphasizing that intimacy is also other things - cuddling (cuddling naked), kissing, talking, etc.

You can use services like Eden or Hims/Hers. Many of these don't require a telehealth visit or anything other than self-entered info.

Yeah like 3. I wish it were higher. Genuinely just so tired - and it isn't like I don't want to have sex or be intimate I'm just life-ed out. Anyone have tips for revving it up?

Following so I can see comments. I am deep in this trap. I provided a DoorDash giftcard once and now I feel hostage to doing it every time because we use the same woman. But that's on top of the fee we pay by the hour, plus tip sooo ... yeah. I feel stuck though because otherwise, if she comes around the kids' bed/dinner time, I feel like she has nothing to eat and I don't really know what the alternative is?

I would casually walk outside when they are walking by next time and introduce yourself. Say you've noticed them, something like that and want to say hi and welcome them. The face to face interaction might deter the poop pause and if it doesn't, you can ask "do you have a poop bag or want a paper towel" and give them a sandwich bag or something to nudge it along.

The doorbell makes my dog nuts. I'd probably lose it. But maybe it isn't so much the doorbell as what they could do instead. During the snow day (ish) we had a few weeks ago, some kids we didn't know came into our drive way and yard and were playing in a semi pile of snow on a semi hill we had. It was adorable and reminded me of how I grew up. All to say ... maybe it's a redirect to something wholesome, independent, and nostalgic but that fits a little easier into the world we live in today.

Truthfully, I have next to no energy for anything except enjoying my hubs and kids and feel like they are wonderful friends, partners in crime, and this family-centric chapter is exactly what I want to be doing. But. That part of me who has always been a little insecure about making and keeping friends is having a hard time. We didn't know anyone when we moved here and have a few friends, but mostly just ancillary acquaintances. I definitely try, but it is hard to make friends in this chapter and hard to keep up with the "maintenance" to foster those friendships into something deeper with kids and life. Sometimes, I see other people with much tighter friend/mom/couple groups (especially doing things together with their fam) or find myself not invited to gatherings within our circle and feel left out. I also know as the kids get bigger, a lot of our friendships may be dictated by what they like, which families they want to hang out with, and who is in their class, etc., but I still can't shake the feeling. Anyone have thoughts?

We are a “less is more” for the holidays kind of family, so we typically like to do just one central gift and maybe a book or some pjs etc. Anyone have any unique ideas for a central gift for a 3yo boy? We also don’t do electronics/screens so looking for something outside that box. Any ideas? (He already has a tricycle and a yotoplayer). Heeelllpppopp

No screens for our kiddos yet, but a trick that works for us addicted adults in the house is putting our phones on top of the fridge. We put a ringer on a sound so that if a TRULY important call comes in we will hear it (eg elderly grandparents). You could try some modified version of that … but everyone really has to want to do it because, speaking personally, the physical sensation of it being up there can be uncomfortable (which tells you a lot about my unhealthy relationship with my phone haha). And like everyone else … puzzles, games, reading, etc.

Cabo is a direct flight and an Airbnb or villa is a wonderful multigenerational vacation. Depending on timing, you can catch the end of whale migration and it is not too hot early spring.

If you can, go “off season” (aka during the winter, not on any holidays or when other people are also off school, ideally mid week…with kids that’s probably less feasible, but at least winter). If you have young kids, consider staying on one of the Disney properties with transportation to and from the parks (shuttles, boats, monorail, etc) because if you plan to try to do a nap, there’s a meltdown, you need a clothing change, or something you have the flexibility. If you stay “off property” you will save a lot of money, but if you need to leave the park for any reason during the day, you will lose hours/potentially half the day. The cost savings should not be downplayed, however. Most importantly you need to loosely plan the broad strokes of your days. I know that’s crazy with kids but other people will be planning down to the nanosecond and if you try to do it day of or on the fly you will either not be able to do anything or wait HOURS … restaurants in the parks, reservations for certain character experiences, shows, ride reservations, and other things all open up 90 days in advance. People book them 90 days in advance on the dot. Do your research 95 days in advance and plan to book (I hope you’re sensing a theme) 90 days in advance. Get the app and the Genie thing and use them (again, download 95 days in advance so you’re comfortable navigating at go time when the clock strikes 90). Other tips and tricks … Florida is a bigger park “campus” than California. Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom are best for young kids. Probably followed by Hollywood Studios then Epcot. I don’t know much about the water park/that isn’t my jam, sorry. I wouldn’t recommend a “park hopper pass” - you can comfortably spend one full day per park with no FOMO. Bring a stroller you feel comfortable with, bring a carrier if your kid is into that. If your kiddos are older consider a day at Disney and a day at Universal. Also consider a day at the resort/hotel before and/or after the parks. It is HIGH STIMULATION and we really like one day after the park to just be a family by the pool and chill and enjoy the facilities (and if you do stay at a Disney property and commit to the legal robbery that is those prices … get your money’s worth ;-D). Lastly, we are not a “be at the park at the crack of dawn and stay til close” kind of family. Everyone has their own vibe and goals - we do try to maximize our time and value at the parks but focus on QUALITY of raw quantity. In other words, we really think about the characters or special shows or unique rides or whatever it is we want to see or do in a given trip and focus on a handful of things rather than doing EVERYTHING. It helps with reservations, managing expectations (adult and children haha), managing wait times (because even with planning…you will wait…and wait some more…and some more), and reduces stress and fatigue and overload all around. It also just makes the trip less tiring and chaotic. Hope that’s helpful … I’m a shameless Disney Adult raising Disney Children for what that’s worth.

Hey @crazyday … our teacher shared this author / podcaster / psychologist with us and this article … loving some of this tips (and need to do a deep dive bc it looks like there are some other awesome topics). Take a look … hope it helps!
https://www.janetlansbury.com/2017/09/solving-toddler-sleep-issues-with-sleep-expert-lisa-sunbury/

+1 to @CallMeDrMom … kids eat in color is great. We can sneak them in sometimes but they aren’t a fan favorite in our house either. Our pediatrician said it’s a normal phase, to offer them every time, but make it a “non event.” Like: here they are with everything else on your plate, I encourage all this equally and my job as mom is to give you the opportunity, not insist it happens (bc then it will be a power struggle, bribe, seen as a challenge, non choice, whatever). I am glad I can still sneak a few in here or there but I see no signs of this phase easing up and I ….would hate to explain to that same pediatrician that it’s been six years since our child ate a piece of broccoli and now have scurvy

Thanks, @Amie-Skwiat-LPC … very insightful and actionable advice. I’ll check out the books as well. Much appreciated!

Generally my partner and I agree on the big strokes of parenting and core values (phew). Overall, I think we split tasks evenly based on what we are best at (phew). We also have a fantastic relationship overall (phew). But with multiple kids the burnout is real and sometimes I feel (what feels to me? Maybe unfairly?) disproportionately overwhelmed as a mom. When tensions are high and I try to express frustration, set a boundary, or ask for support I sometimes feel like I’m being perceived or coming across as naggy, or condescending, or demanding. I don’t know if it’s because I get nervous and something gets lost in translation or something about my communication style gets mechanical, or if I’m just not great at asking for help and saying when something doesn’t feel great. Any strategies that work for others?

There’s no “right” answer and a lot of this stuff is whatever feels right for you, your family and kids. Personally, and I stress personally here because everyone is different, I would probably choose the best possible RATED school because education is critical to a lot of other success factors in life. It sounds like those happen to be parochial schools and like you, my family is also secular and interested in diversity…so I’d use your “extracurricular time” to model and teach your values (e.g., eating diverse foods, joining multicultural playgroups, taking other language courses, talking about other religious holidays and seeing if friends you know can help balance out different cultural points of view e.g., go to a Diwali festival etc.). I think introducing diversity of thought, culture, humility and gratitude is a little easier UNFORTUNATELY than some of the systemic issues schools with limited resources face. Your main issue with the public school sounded like poor ratings which means the teachers could be unpaid, they could be short staffed, lacking in funding, resources, or safety. You can verify this and make a decision based on why those ratings are what they are (actually you can see how money is allocated at both the public and private schools by asking the administrators for those details if it isn’t already publicly posted and see if it aligns to your values). You aren’t making entitled little buttholes by giving your children the best possible education and opportunities available…I do believe that is part of our responsibility as parents. I’m not an educator so I strive to give them the best educational opportunities I can. You CAN avoid making entitled little buttholes by showing them that you aren’t one and why you and your husband chose not to believe while still celebrating and respecting others, to be thankful they get to go to a great school but volunteer and give back, etc. Good luck. It’s a hard and personal decision and know whatever you choose will be right for YOU!!!

Someone please answer this … we put our toddler down for nap and next thing we know he’s waltzing into our office to say hi. We want him to feel independent to go to the potty and that this is our house (obviously in safe rooms and things are childproofed) but he is … very … independent. 🥶

1x a week usually on the weekend during the kids’ nap time or when we have a date night = big win. 2x a week with some combo of that and I feel like a sex goddess. And when I say sex goddess, seconding @monet2988 in this is not my most sexy era. We’re usually way too tired after bed and bath and dinner and all the things on “school nights” but we try to make the it happen once in a while. That said, while I miss the “lust” of our early days, I really love the “intimacy” and security and feel really happy and satisfied with our love life. Instead of only focusing ONLY on the sex we make it a priority to do other physical touch lovey-dovey things (cuddling on the couch with no phones, ditto in bed before we go to sleep, holding hands when we walk, hugs when we start the day, etc.). It’s easy to go into auto pilot mode and “forget” to do that sometimes but we agree those things are very meaningful to us even when we are too tired for sex during the week. That stuff probably isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but the point is just that we talked about it and agreed we like having our sex on the weekends when we aren’t so ragged out and distracted and that these other things are joyful and special to us too. Having talked about it has kept me from overthinking and over analyzing and death spiraling on the topic because at the end of the day “normal” and “average” is really just what’s good for yall.

I did pelvic floor therapy at PT Solutions with Mackenzie Steiner who is a PT specialist (12 sessions) for painful sex, low back pain, and constipation … changed mylife. I wish I had done this after both pregnancies and not just my second pregnancy. It was 100% covered by insurance and the experience was more like a “personal trainer” than anything else (I don’t know what I was expecting but you say pelvic floor and my mind goes a lot of places). Totallllyyyy worth it … I learned so much about my body and my issues were all solved. It ended up fixing a lot of other pain and body issues caused by the pregnancies I had been living with that I just hadn’t realized were lingering and easy to solve. Everyone’s experience and journey is different, but I could not celebrate or sing PT Solution’s praises more highly. If you’re on the fence I recommend trying it … you can always quit if it isn’t helping or it’s not for you. That’s the mindset I took when my doc recommended it as well.