This is a tough one for sure. One resource I often recommend is the book Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. I’ve had patients (and their partners!) read it together. It talks about "accelerators" (things that turn you on) and "decelerators" (things that turn you off), and how everyone’s balance is different. Understanding this can make such a difference in intimacy — it’s not about fixing something, it’s about getting to know your own wiring better.

Great question—From a holistic and functional medicine perspective, bowel movements are a key indicator of how well your digestion, detoxification, hydration, nervous system, and overall metabolism are working together.
So, how often is "normal"? The general range is 1–3 times per day, ideally effortless, well-formed, and complete. Here is a great chart about what your poop is telling you: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/bristol-stool-scale#chart
Going less than once every 24–36 hours can be a sign of sluggish digestion or underlying imbalance (even if it's always been your “normal”).
More than 3 times daily, especially if loose or urgent, may indicate inflammation, food sensitivity, gut dysbiosis, or stress response.
Tips to Keep Things Moving:
Hydration is key: Aim for half your body weight in ounces of water daily. Warm lemon water in the morning can gently stimulate digestion.
Fiber diversity: Include a variety of fiber-rich foods: veggies, flax, chia, berries, beans, whole grains (if tolerated). Soluble and insoluble fiber help bulk and move stool.
Movement = movement. Regular exercise and walking stimulate intestinal motility.
Magnesium citrate or glycinate can relax the bowel and support regularity. Also, magnesium-rich foods (pumpkin seeds, leafy greens, avocado) help!
Relax to digest. Digestion is parasympathetic (rest & digest). Chronic stress, rushing meals, or eating on the go can shut things down. Try deep breathing before meals.
Support the microbiome. Fermented foods, prebiotics (like garlic, onions, asparagus), and possibly a probiotic can help balance gut flora and improve motility.
Tune in to food triggers. Dairy, gluten, sugar, or highly processed foods can contribute to sluggish or erratic bowels for some people.
Consistent routines. Try to eat meals at similar times and establish a daily “potty pause”—especially in the morning, to sync with your natural rhythm. And try not to miss you poop window.

If bowel patterns are outside the ideal range or changing without clear cause, it’s worth diving deeper. Hormones, thyroid function, gut flora, or food sensitivities can all play a role.