The Anxious Generation. O. M. G. - I think all parents of kids 5-15 would especially benefit from reading it!

Thank you so much for bringing up this question. Even though it’s probably been very uncomfortable to be unsure what to do - I appreciate your openness and vulnerability. As a licensed therapist , with a specialty in working with youth and parents- here are a few thoughts.

1. I think your maternal gut is an important one to listen to. And the fact that you are considering the option of talking it out feels very tuned in. Punishing does not stop behavior. It may be important to use some natural consequences, like not having them unsupervised or any sleep overs, but I think it’s often best to lead with getting curious, not furious.

If you are not sure how to have that conversation, I’d reach out to your pediatrician, as they may have local resources for you. Also I love the website : https://birdsandbeesandkids.com/ Tons of great resources, books and articles there. This is also definitely seen as normal - u less there are some red flags: one of the two children being significantly older than the other, coercion or pressure from one child to the other, and problematic sexualized behavior that seems too advanced for curiosity within their age group. In this case, I’d recommend talking with a local therapist. Feel free to reach out if u wanna talk it through more.