Leaving fun activity meltdowns
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Any tips on how to help 5 year old leave somewhere fun peacefully? Whether it’s summer camps, the park, fun outings, etc. it is always a fight to put shoes on and go, sometimes ending in tantrums. I have tried giving minute countdowns, using sticker charts, practicing at home. I am at my wits end!
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@SustainableMama should be able to answer this! We took her parenting course and it was life changin!!
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I have no professional training, just a mom. But things that semi work for us. 1) stating the plan before we arrive somewhere and stating what the departure will look like "It might be hard to leave but i'll give you a 10 minutes, 5 minutes warnings and then i'm going to ask you once to leave and it's important that you listen the first time. Can you agree/handle that?" 2) having something to look forward to when leaving (even if it's sort of made up). 3) joining forces with other moms and all leaving at the same time (when possible) 4) sometimes it won't be peaceful and that's part of life?
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I love the advice above about talking about it ahead of time, and having something to look forward to next, even if it's a coloring book or an activity at home or a song they get to play in the car. I really struggle with transitions with my middle child, so I totally feel you on this question. Here with you in solidarity - transitions are so tough!
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Hi @pinkpurse [To help transitions I think of these 4 steps:
A) connection first (come alongside and noticing what they have been playing with, or name it: "Boy! You have been having so much fun playing in this sand and building that castle. Look at it!",
B) Direct them to their "Last thing" when you have 2-5 min. left- like they say in Daniel Tiger's episode. This gives more empowerment and makes the child feel like they ended on the note THEY choose.: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6ve0cp,
C) Use tools that give choice/playfulness to encourage cooperation (from the "Empowering statements" handout: https://drive.google.com/file/d/114xMIG_i5SZv-OzZct_XclD11u9LUM4J/view?usp=sharing). This is CRITICAL. Instead of just saying "we have to go", put their brain on choices like, "should we skip or hop to the car?" "Do you want a squeezy or granola bar when we get to the car?" "Do you wanna go right side up or upside down?"
D) "2 roads" if needed. If they continue to not be motivated by all that - give a happy choice that has a happy result, vs. sad choice and sad result. Like: "well, you can go hopping or skipping, or I will hold your hand and help your body move to the car. You choose." (and if they don't start moving, then they have chosen for you to help them. The "sad road" could also be a privilege lost, or not being able to come to the park the next day, etc. I love the "What should Danny do" books to reinforce this idea in a way kids really like. https://www.amazon.com/dp/069284838X/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_undefined?linkCode=ml1&tag=sustainablepa-20![alt text]](link url)
