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Talking to Our Kids in the Wake of Tragedy -
How to Talk to Our Kids in the Wake of Tragedy- Expert Katie Taylor, CCLSTalking to Our Kids in the Wake of Tragedy
Katie Taylor, Certified Child Life Specialist, Founder Child Life On Call, @Katie-Taylor-CCLSFirst and foremost, my heart is aching for so many families whose worlds were forever changed yesterday.
ď¸
As a parent who is watching the relentless rain pour over our hill country, I can speak to the fact that this is a true terror for so many friends and neighbors who are still looking for their girls.
As parents, itâs hard to know how to (or if we should) share these horrific events with our kids.
Questions like:
Should I tell my kids?
Should I let them watch the news?
What do I say?
Hopefully some of this info about how to handle hard conversations lightens this heaviness we are all feeling.
Despite our best efforts, kids pick up when adults are sad, scared and worried.
This doesnât mean you have to hide your feelings better.
It just means you should be aware that your kids may notice youâre upset, and may internalize it as itâs something theyâve done wrong (even when it has nothing to do with them).
Having a prepared answer may be helpful here â some things you could say:
âMy heart is hurting for families who have family members who have been hurt by the floodsâ
âIâm crying because something terrible has happened and itâs making me feel sadâ
âThank you for noticing how I feel. When I feel sad and you notice a hug from you makes me feel better. Itâs not your fault iâm sad.âIf you have an older child who wants details about what happened, trust your gut on how and when to give information. Give bite-sized, honest and simple statements.
âThe river has flooded and people have diedâ
âFamilies are searching for people who they love and canât findâ
**If your child starts to get sad/scared/upset thatâs normal-**offer hugs, love and remind them they are safe.
If your child changes the subject, thatâs also normal. Insight that itâs not a good time.
Validate how they are feeling. âI see youâre done talking about it and thatâs perfectly okay. Let me know when you want to talk about it again or if you have any questions.âWhen youâre done talking consider action together.
Draw pictures of how youâre feeling, find items to donate, talk about what you do when youâre sad.
Above all just remember: You make your child feel safe. Sadness, fear and worry are completely bearable when your child has you to feel this with.ď¸
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Talking to Our Kids in the Wake of TragedyTalking to Our Kids in the Wake of Tragedy
Katie Taylor, Certified Child Life Specialist, Founder of Child Life On Call, MomBrain Expert, @Katie-Taylor-CCLSFirst and foremost, my heart is aching for so many families whose worlds were forever changed yesterday.
ď¸
As a parent who is watching the relentless rain pour over our hill country, I can speak to the fact that this is a true terror for so many friends and neighbors who are still looking for their girls.
As parents, itâs hard to know how to (or if we should) share these horrific events with our kids.
Questions like:
Should I tell my kids?
Should I let them watch the news?
What do I say?
Hopefully some of this info about how to handle hard conversations lightens this heaviness we are all feeling.
Despite our best efforts, kids pick up when adults are sad, scared and worried.
This doesnât mean you have to hide your feelings better.
It just means you should be aware that your kids may notice youâre upset, and may internalize it as itâs something theyâve done wrong (even when it has nothing to do with them).
Having a prepared answer may be helpful here â some things you could say:
âMy heart is hurting for families who have family members who have been hurt by the floodsâ
âIâm crying because something terrible has happened and itâs making me feel sadâ
âThank you for noticing how I feel. When I feel sad and you notice a hug from you makes me feel better. Itâs not your fault iâm sad.âIf you have an older child who wants details about what happened, trust your gut on how and when to give information. Give bite-sized, honest and simple statements.
âThe river has flooded and people have diedâ
âFamilies are searching for people who they love and canât findâ
If your child starts to get sad/scared/upset thatâs normal-offer hugs, love and remind them they are safe.
If your child changes the subject, thatâs also normal. Insight that itâs not a good time.
Validate how they are feeling. âI see youâre done talking about it and thatâs perfectly okay. Let me know when you want to talk about it again or if you have any questions.âWhen youâre done talking consider action together.
Draw pictures of how youâre feeling, find items to donate, talk about what you do when youâre sad.
Above all just remember: You make your child feel safe. Sadness, fear and worry are completely bearable when your child has you to feel this with.ď¸
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When the News is Scary and Kids have QuestionsWhen the News is Scary and Kids have Questions
Hi Friends!It's no secret that life has beenâŚ.heavy. We are here to support you as you navigate theses conversations in your home. Let's get to it with MomBrain expert, Katie Abney, LPC and LMFT-S sharing 5 tips.
You can check out MomBrain.com to continue the conversation.- If your child isnât asking/talking about it and isnât directly impacted by it then there is no need to approach it
Just because something devastating or scary is happening in the world, doesnât mean you need to talk to them about it. Follow their lead. If they are asking questions, talking about it to you or others, directly impacted by it or if they seem worried then thats your cue to approach it. - Be Honest
It is really important to be truthful with your childrenâkids sense when information is withheld, which can increase anxiety. Share honest, age-appropriate answers without unnecessary details. For example, if asked, âWill people trapped in a fire die?â you can say, âThatâs why firefighters rescue people and bring them to safety.â NOTE** If unsure how to answer, itâs okay to say, âIâll find out and let you know.â - Validate Their Feelings and Reassure that They are Safe
Asking questions is a great way to get a better idea of what they know about the event and what is specifically worrying them. That way you can provide the validation and reassurance they need. Reassurance can look like: âMommy and daddy know what to do and will keep you safeâ or âLook at mommyâs face, do I look worried?â You can also go over a safety plan with them so they feel secure in knowing what will happen if they are ever in a similar situation. - Limit Exposure to the News
The bulk of the information your kids are receiving about something going on in the world needs to come from you as much as possible. The news often amplifies fear with scary headlines and graphic images that are difficult for a child's brain to process. - Find Ways to Help and Give Back
Showing how people come together during/after natural disasters or difficult events in the world is critical for kids to see. Providing opportunities for a child to be involved in helping or giving back to those affected by a world event or natural disaster is a powerful way for them to be part of the âgoodâ during the devastation. It also gives them an active role instead of feeling helpless.
Important Take Away
As a parent, the most important thing for you to remember is to regulate your own emotions when talking to your kids. Kids hear our words BUT they see and feel our energy. The undercurrent of what we are saying is what really runs the show.
One way to help? Our friends at La Lumiere New York (Austin mom founded) are donating 100% of their profits from the âI love LAâ collection to LAFD and Baby2Baby. Over $13,000 has been raised so far!
- If your child isnât asking/talking about it and isnât directly impacted by it then there is no need to approach it
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Top Skincare Tips to Bring Back Your GlowWrinkles? Acne? Sleep deprivation? We canât help with the last one, but weâve got the first two covered!
Hi Mamas!
We know mom life can be a lotâbusy schedules, never-ending to-do lists, and somehow, zero time for yourself. But donât worry, weâve got you!Today, MomBrain expert Caroline Cordell Day, MMS, PA-C, a board-certified physician assistant at Blue Ridge Dermatology, is sharing her top skincare tips to bring back your glow.
Keeping It Simple: 2 Skincare Must-Haves - I know thereâs a lot out there, but if you try just two things, make it these!
Neuromodulators (aka Botox & Dysport)
These quick, 10-minute treatments smooth fine lines, relax facial muscles, and give you that fresh, lifted look. Bonus? They can also help with TMJ, tension headaches, and even facial asymmetry. Best results come from quarterly treatments, and results last about three months!
Retin-A (Your Skincare MVP)
This powerhouse prescription reduces pores, brightens skin, and boosts collagen production. Mixed with a little moisturizer (like Neutrogena Hydroboost), it helps smooth fine lines, fade sun damage, and even treat breakouts.
Pregnant & Missing Your Botox & Retin-A? We Feel You!
Pregnancy-safe skincare does exist! As a dermatology PA and a mom, Iâve got the best tips to keep your skin glowing (and acne at bay) while keeping it baby-safe.
Hereâs a simple AM/PM routine to improve skin texture, reduce pore size, and brighten your complexion:
AM:- Wash face:
Sulfo-Lo Bar (Amazon) â For red or acne-prone skin
Salicylic Acid cleanser (<2%) â For texture and complexion improvement - Glycolic 10% or less (lotion, serum, or pad) â For smooth skin and radiance
- Vitamin C serum 15-30% â Revision is a favorite for brightening!
- Physical sunscreen (SPF 30 or greater) â Zinc or titanium dioxide-based
PM:
- Makeup Remover: Micellar water on a cotton round
- Cleanser (same as AM)
- Prescription from your dermatologist:
Azelaic acid 14% / Clindamycin 1% / Sulfur 10% (compounded) â For acne-prone skin
Azelaic Acid 14% â For those without acne
Safety First!
There are a few products to avoid during pregnancy:
Salicylic acid >2%
Glycolic Acid >10%
Retin-A (tretinoin or any brand alternative)
Topical Dapsone
Topical Spironolactone (Winlevi)
- Wash face:
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10 Things Your Pediatrician Wants You to Know!10 Things Your Pediatrician Wants You to Know!
Together with: Claire Day-Del Monte Realty, Houston, TXDr Cara Lye, MD, has over a decade of experience as a hospitalist at Texas Children's Hospital and has seen it all! She currently works in private practice serving families in Austin, TX and is a mom to three amazing kids!
Dr Lye is 'MomBrain Founder Pick' by Camryn whose family has received exceptional care, especially during a rare diagnosis.
Take it away Dr. Lye-Thanks for being a part of Mombrain!- Kids are Cats Until 4 Years Old
Toddlers can be a real hot mess...a fun one but hot nonetheless.They're also like catsâfun but untrainable. Before age 4, you canât "train" them like a puppy. After 4, it gets easier. So, when you start to lose it, just remember: theyâre in their cat phase, and itâs totally normal! - Always Quality over Quantity
Parenting can feel overwhelming, especially when juggling work, new siblings, or lifeâs demands. I always tell families as they prepare to add siblings or are in a busy season, to remember, itâs the QUALITY, not quantity, of time that matters. Spend 10-15 minutes of device-free time daily with your child, letting them choose the activity. Make it specialâthis small effort strengthens bonds and benefits both parent and child. - Skip the âHealthy vs Unhealthyâ "Good vs Bad" Talk
Shifting how we talk about food helps kids avoid guilt and shame which can lead to unhealthy eating patterns. Instead of "healthy/unhealthy," use terms like "sometimes/always foods" or "short/long energy foods." This approach removes judgment and encourages better choices. - Consistency is Key
Whether it is sleep training, picky eating, helping them learn a new skill, or discipline the most important thing is consistency. I tell parents not to tackle something big like sleep training until they feel like they can commit and be consistent. - The Human Body is Amazing! Remind Your Kids.
Try to talk about what bodies can do and not what they look like or should look like. Reminding them the amazing things their bodies and minds can do helps them to understand how special they are. One of my favorite things to do is to let my patients listen to their own heart beat. Their sweet little faces hearing their own heart for the first time is really magical. Think of ways you can help them see how special they are just by being them! - Picky is as Picky Does
Most toddlers go through a picky phase and this is SO normal. Best thing we can do as parents is to continue to offer a variety of healthy options and not limit what we offer to only what we know they will eat. Always have a safe food on their plate, avoid the power struggles and forcing them to take bites in order to get a reward...they are SO smart and this usually makes it worse.
7.Okay the (big) Feeling
Big outbursts often stem from kids struggling to express feelings. Helping them name their emotions can make a big difference. For example: "I see you're upset we have to leave the playground. It's okay to feel that way, and weâll come back, but we need to go now." Acknowledging their feelings helps de-escalate situations. - Be Vulnerable
Along the lines of acknowledging and helping your child communicate their feelings, I am always so grateful when parents are willing to be vulnerable in front of their children and share their own experiences. It helps them to feel less alone, reminds them that we are humans and enables us to connect with them and support them more. - Sorry Mom, Power Struggles are NORMAL
Power struggles, whether with toddler tantrums or older kids defiance, are a normal part of development. Try to think of ways you can give them control like offer them choices: âItâs time to put on your shoesâdo you want the blue or purple ones?â This works especially well after school when kids feel drained from a day with little control. - No Dumb Questions. I Want to Know the Full Story.
The more I know and have context for parents' concerns the more I can help. If I understand what your worry is, then I can better address it. I always encourage my families to ask questions because it allows me to meet them where they are and make sure we are all on the same page.
- Kids are Cats Until 4 Years Old
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Invaluable Tips for Preparing Your Child for SurgeryHi Friends,
At MomBrain, weâre all about connecting moms with trusted advice and support. Thatâs why weâre excited to highlight Katie Taylor, a Certified Child Life Specialist (CCLS), founder of Child Life On Call and one of the incredible experts in our community.
Katie shares invaluable tips for preparing your child for surgeryâespecially during school breaks when families often schedule medical procedures. Hereâs a sneak peek into her advice:How to Prepare Your Child for Surgery
- Be Honest
Explain what will happen using age-appropriate language. Keep it simple and reassure your child that youâll be with them every step of the way. - Give Them Control
While they may not have a say in the procedure, letting them make small choicesâlike what to bring to the hospital or whether to sit in mom or dadâs lapâcan help them feel empowered. - Advocate for Your Child
You know your child best. Share their unique personality traits with the medical team to build rapport and ensure personalized care.
Katieâs expertise as a Child Life Specialist is just one example of the kind of guidance youâll find on MomBrain. You can tag her in your questions or visit her profile for personalized advice.
To see her in action, alongside other moms giving their advice, look at this post on preparing for your child's upcoming tonsillectomy.
Looking for more? Katie also recommends downloading the SupportSpot app for healthcare preparation guides and a free introductory call with Child Life Specialists.
At MomBrain, weâre here to make motherhoodâand moments like theseâless overwhelming.
- Be Honest
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3 Ways to Help Kids Be More Helpful and Less Entitled This Holiday BreakHi Friends,
At MomBrain, we know the holidays can be a magical timeâbut they can also bring challenges like managing kids' expectations and encouraging a spirit of helpfulness. Thatâs why weâre thrilled to highlight Flora McCormick, a licensed counselor and Parent Coach and one of the incredible experts in our community.
Flora shares practical strategies to help parents raise kids who are more helpful and less âentitledâ during the holidays. Hereâs a sneak peek at her advice:
3 Ways to Help Kids Be More Helpful and Less Entitled This Holiday Break
- Privilege + Responsibility = Appreciation
Teach kids that responsibility comes before privilege. When they have a sense of responsibility, theyâre more likely to appreciate the rewards that come with it.
Consider this simple equationâprivilege without responsibility = entitlement. So helping kids to have a sense of how their responsible actions lead to their privileges helps kids develop gratitude and an understanding of how to contribute to the family and world around them.
Incorporate chores into your plans for the new Year: As we pivot into 2025, it's a great time to agree with your partner on some age-appropriate chores you'd like to have the kids help with this year. Assigning small, age-appropriate tasks helps children feel a sense of significance and belonging in the family and we know from child psychologist Alfred Adler and child psychiatrist Rudolf Dreikers these are two central needs in childhood!
And tie those chores to the privileges they have: ie. âWhen your room is clean, then you can go to your friend's house,â or âWhen youâve helped with the chores, then we can watch a show.â It's like being sure we eat our dinner before dessert. If we allow kids to have any privilege they want, and then hope they will be helpful AFTER...it's like saying, "Sure. Have dessert first, but I still expect you to eat dinner." It's likely setting you up for failure. - Less Is More
Itâs easy to go overboard during the holidays with toys, gadgets, and gifts. But studies show that excess can backfire, leaving kids overstimulated and irritable.
Consider fewer, more meaningful gifts: Fewer gifts lead to more thoughtful play and better emotional balance.
Clean out before Christmas: Help kids donate old toys they no longer use to families in need. This fosters a sense of gratitude and understanding of giving.
Preemptively clear space: Before the holiday rush, remove items that have been gathering dust. Not only does this make room for new gifts, but it also teaches kids that material possessions are not endless. - Make It Clear: Teach Them How to Help
If you want your kids to be more helpful this holiday season, itâs important to provide clear guidance on what that looks like. Sometimes, they may not know how to offer help unless we teach them.
Use simple phrases: Instead of expecting kids to automatically see when help is needed, teach them a simple script. âHoney, when you see others unloading the car/dishwasher/etc, I'd like you to say, "How can I help?â This script gives them a clear, actionable way to contribute.
Make expectations explicit: For example, if you're unloading groceries, say, âI need your help to bring in the bags. What can you carry?â Or if they see someone struggling with a task, encourage them to ask, âHow can I help?â
Praise positive efforts: When they use the phrase or step in to help, be sure to offer positive reinforcement. As my favorite mentor Dr. John Sommers-Flanagan says, "What gets noticed, gets repeated."
By making your expectations clear and providing kids with simple tools to be helpful, you empower them to take initiative and feel proud of their contributions.Floraâs expertise as a Parenting Coach is just one example of the kind of guidance youâll find on MomBrain. You can tag her in your questions, visit her profile for personalized advice or learn more about Sustainable Parenting.
At MomBrain, weâre here to make motherhoodâand the holidaysâmore joyful and less overwhelming.
- Privilege + Responsibility = Appreciation
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Why does summer give me so much anxiety, especially with work??I brought this topic to my therapist recently and she said, <generally speaking > When the husband goes to work he goes to work. When the wife goes to work she is working+coordinating carpool+scheduling dr appointments+ organizing playdates+ keeping up with where kids are/supposed to be and what they need.
How can you make your schedule look more like your husbands? I'm looking into hiring a "mother's helper" as they are more cost efficient but will help me stay organized and be another set of hands around the house. Stay tuned! -
Leaving fun activity meltdowns@SustainableMama should be able to answer this! We took her parenting course and it was life changin!!