Talking to Our Kids in the Wake of Tragedy
Katie Taylor, Certified Child Life Specialist, Founder Child Life On Call, @Katie-Taylor-CCLS
First and foremost, my heart is aching for so many families whose worlds were forever changed yesterday.️
As a parent who is watching the relentless rain pour over our hill country, I can speak to the fact that this is a true terror for so many friends and neighbors who are still looking for their girls.
As parents, it’s hard to know how to (or if we should) share these horrific events with our kids.
Questions like:
Should I tell my kids?
Should I let them watch the news?
What do I say?
Hopefully some of this info about how to handle hard conversations lightens this heaviness we are all feeling.
Despite our best efforts, kids pick up when adults are sad, scared and worried.
This doesn’t mean you have to hide your feelings better.
It just means you should be aware that your kids may notice you’re upset, and may internalize it as it’s something they’ve done wrong (even when it has nothing to do with them).
Having a prepared answer may be helpful here – some things you could say:
“My heart is hurting for families who have family members who have been hurt by the floods”
“I’m crying because something terrible has happened and it’s making me feel sad”
“Thank you for noticing how I feel. When I feel sad and you notice a hug from you makes me feel better. It’s not your fault i’m sad.”
If you have an older child who wants details about what happened, trust your gut on how and when to give information. Give bite-sized, honest and simple statements.
“The river has flooded and people have died”
“Families are searching for people who they love and can’t find”
**If your child starts to get sad/scared/upset that’s normal-**offer hugs, love and remind them they are safe.
If your child changes the subject, that’s also normal. Insight that it’s not a good time.
Validate how they are feeling. “I see you’re done talking about it and that’s perfectly okay. Let me know when you want to talk about it again or if you have any questions.”
When you’re done talking consider action together.
Draw pictures of how you’re feeling, find items to donate, talk about what you do when you’re sad.
Above all just remember: You make your child feel safe. Sadness, fear and worry are completely bearable when your child has you to feel this with.️
