Toddler bedtime advice
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I am desperate for advice. My almost 3yo toddler has suddenly started screaming bloody murder every night when my husband or I try to leave the room. She never was happy for us to leave, but this screaming is next level. When she was newly 2, she had some bedtime tantrums but nothing like this. She has a 3 month old sibling, so I’m guessing part of this is sleep regression related to that. We have a very solid bedtime routine that hasn’t changed (bath, books, songs, bed). We spend so much of each day playing with her and connecting, so the rhetoric of needing connection does not apply here. Have any of you successfully navigated something like this? Or do I just accept that bedtime is going to take hours with screaming until my children are in elementary school? (Plz no!!!)
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Dude, 3yrs old is so hard. They will grow out of it. Make sure they have eaten a good dinner and are full. Maybe change the bedtime routine and let her help plan the order of things. Also, no screens/blue light before bed, duh. At this age I feel like it's all about control. Give them lots of choices and "jobs" around bedtime. I"m sure someone else has better advice but this is at least a starting point!
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@thegoldengoose dealing with this with our 2 year old who also has a 3.5 month sibling. No advice. We’re surviving not thriving. She’s waking up at 5 AM and won’t go to bed until 9-10 PM.
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Hi! Sleep consultant here, and also the mom of a just turned 3-year-old who has decided to start doing strange things at bedtime like saying he is going to throw up and then when I go in there he says nevermind I don't need to throw up. 3 year olds are something! One thing to check on for your daughter is if she is napping for a long nap during the day? This can start causing longer bedtime battles, but I'm sure the new sibling and developmental stages are contributing. I love creating a bedtime routine chart at this age so that you can check off each step (drink of water, books, potty, etc, etc) and then if your little one keeps asking for things, you can share that you checked off everything on the list and her body is ready to sleep! I also love the kissing game, where you do quick pop ins to give her a kiss if she is resting quietly. Lots more ideas or can offer more support if needed!
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3 years old HAS to be the worst age ever. I swear our daughter cried for a straight year... we actually hired a parenting coach due to 3 years old and sleeping was a BIG issue. Honestly, we got desperate and here is what we did:
- Hatch light -- didn't really work to keep her in the room, but she knew that the goal was to stay until the light was green, it's red when its sleep time.
- Our parenting coach recommended "check ins". So we outlined a picture that visually displayed the rules. You get 4 check ins total, and we WILL be back no matter what for your check ins. When you stay in your bed you get all 4 check ins, if you scream and come out you lose a check in. If you can't control your body and are just screaming, we used a monkey lock (GREATEST thing ever) and let her know we will monkey lock you until you can calm your body. Took A LOT of rough nights and practice and LOTS of praise on when she did good on the check ins.
We also had her pick out whatever stuffy she wanted that she felt like would protect her, AND we bought a dream catcher and explained how it catches all the bad dreams. I DEF lost my mind A LOT -- good luck!!!!
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Could not agree more, 3 years old is ROUGH... we also have the hatch light so my daughter atleast is well aware of when it is time to wake and when its not. Honestly we got pretty desperate over here.. whoever sleeps through the whole night gets a shot of whip cream in the morning. Its pretty rough when your siblings get the whip cream and you don't. Lots of praise when the whip cream was successfully achieved!!! -- just a mom surviving lol
