My heart aches for you as I remember the anxiety and physical pain leading up to my return to work. Here to say for me, the lead up was far worse than both returning to work and my first work trip away from my daughter. Some tips that have worked… when pumping, have an album of photos and videos of your little one at the ready for you to watch or if you can FaceTime baby even better. If baby will be home with a caretaker set up some cameras beyond just above crib so you can peak in here and there during the work day. For pumping, keep your schedule as close to your breast feeding schedule times as possible to be the most efficient at milk removal. Don’t schedule too many social engagements // activities on the weekends of your first month.. let your heart heal and soak up your baby as much as you can when you are not at work. It’s tough but you will get through it

It’s less about the company and more about the manager. Obviously you want to pick a company that shows it values family and work life balance through its policies but it’s another thing to ensure your management has empathy for the working parent. I look at and weigh the manager more heavily than the company itself