Husband is Depressed
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I can tell my husband is depressed. He has been for a while and I’m just unsure how to support him right now. Not to mention we have 3 kids and I’m feeling super burnt out carrying the emotional load of the family. He’s snappy with the kids and it’s the biggest turn off. Any ideas to help him get back to normal?
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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have 3 kids too and have definitely been depressed. So has my husband. Individual therapy has helped me so much. I started anti depressants recently too, and it's been GREAT. But, if someone was asking my husband this question when I was at my lowest - I think I would say: hang out with me... listen to me without offering me a solution... show me that you SEE me. I hope this is helpful!!!
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We’ve been there. Things got really bad and desperate and I basically had to say “start therapy or we need time apart.”
Painful for everyone but also painful for everyone to watch him continue a downward spiral.
He’s doing MUCH better now.
Sorry you’re going through this -
3 kids is no joke and its not easy, we've been there. We were trying to avoid going on medication so we had him go to a functional medicine doctor and get full labs drawn. She recommended certain supplements to help where he was lacking, as well as tested his testosterone.
As a family we also tried to stop drinking, get enough sleep every night and slow down and start to say "no" more. I feel like society doesn't make parenting easy, and we have trouble "keeping up" with all the activities sports etc.
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@Orange-Yak I completely agree with everything you said! 🫶
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I hear you! We have recently started couples counseling and my husband has opened up about symptoms of depression. We are going to start doing some individual sessions to help that. Cutting alcohol, seeing a functional medicine doctor to check out all labs and can recommend supplements also helped. It’s a hard season of life with little kids and just give grace. I have seen wonderful changes in my husband but the person has to be open to trying to change things. Unfortunately, we had to hit “Rock bottom” for drastic change. Hoping your husband will be open to some help and change.
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We're actually going through this right now and I left a message for his doctor (he was scheduled to go in) and expressed my concern and asked him to check in on my husband. Bc of HIPPA he can't follow up with me but I'm hoping he at least talked to him about options. This was last week so this is unfolding right now.
It's really hard, i'm sorry you're also going through this. Sending positive vibes your way
I also think this is way more common than is talked about, so thank you for asking this. -
This was my husband last summer. We were also adjusting to 3 kids, all the activities, etc. While this isn’t a new suggestion, we did couple counseling and it helped tremendously. I will say that it’s very important to find the right therapist. We’d done it before several years back and that guy wasn’t a good fit. However, this time my husband really liked who we saw, and what she said resonated with him. She forced him to talk about his feelings and get things out in the open (he tends to hold onto emotions and they basically fester inside). Know y’all aren’t alone and he’s very lucky to have a partner that’s looking out for him 🩷 Best of luck and happy to share my therapist’s info if needed (female, virtual only, accepts insurance).
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Good for you for acknowledging a problem. I feel like you’re already so much healthier than most. My husband and I both struggle with depression and we’ve both gone in and out of counseling over the years. It has worked really well and we always seem to pull out of it. So much of parenting/life is ups and downs. That’s the natural cycle of things. We live in a society where we’re sold a perfect picture all the time. Just remember you’re normal and don’t panic! Counseling, rest, healthy lifestyle, faith in a higher power, medicine if you need it will get you through. You’re normal!
