Smartphones & Technology
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Has anyone read "The Anxious Generation" and if so, have you thought about holding smartphones from your kids til' 16? Tough topic, I know, but he talks about parents creating this community where it's more of a norm for a kid NOT to have a phone! Super interested to hear?
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Would love for an older mom to chime in here and get her advice!! Really scared of the whole phone era that’s to come for my littles!
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I haven’t read that book but I recently signed the wait until 8th pledge. The reason I signed is bc there isn’t a single piece of literature/research that supports smartphone adoption for kids. Curious to hear what others are experiencing!
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This is such a hard topic. My kiddos are 22, 20 and almost 17. I would say hold out as long as you can if there are people you can band together with that also hold out. We waited until 6th grade to give them phones, 7th grade instagram and 9th grade snapchat. One of my daughters was bullied in 6th grade and left out because she didn't have snap chat and was left out of social things. So that is something potential to think about managing if your child is the only one in the group that doesn't have a phone and/or the social media account they are communicating on for weekend plans, etc. Once you give them phones and social media, be prepared to manage it. It unfortunately becomes a part time job. We didn't allow them to be on their phones in cars and when they would have friends over, they all had to turn their phones in for middle school sleepovers. It helps to have other parents have the same policy on this so you're not the only one. Honestly, managing phones and social media was one of the hardest parts of raising teens but in the long run it's so worth it to have adult children who have social skills, can carry on a conversation, don't pull them out at the dinner table and know how to self regulate on their phones! Hang in there - this too shall pass and will just be a season! xo
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@WalmartGreeter I have it in-hand, just haven't sat down and started reading. We're already committed to delaying access to smart devices/social media knowing what we know, but I appreciate reading the continued research being done. I'm interested in what it'll have to say.
@Whats4dinner appreciate your perspective as someone who's already had to navigate this! What did you feel like was the hardest app, both to manage as a parent and how it affected/impacted your kid(s)? And did you feel like when you walked through this you had a solid group of parents who were phasing these at the same time/discussing together?
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C Camryn-MomBrain moved this topic from Beta Users on
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I haven’t read the book but my kids are 15. 12, and 7 and I 100% regret getting my older 2 phones before 8th grade. It’s difficult though because nearly everyone in their peer groups have phones as well. I really wish I had waited.
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Wait as long as you can and encourage your kids schools to ban usage of cell phones on campus! I think this is an important piece and will help parents feel better about waiting until 8th when it's more normalized to not have one most of the day. The research is there and more research has been coming out about the dangers of phones/apps/social media - and there are sites online that help you put together packages to present to the schools with the talking points, research and studies. It's so hard to take them way once you have given them the phones/devices. I would suggest finding moms that are like minded and band together as it is a lot easier to enforce when your kids aren't the odd man out....I wish we would have waited until 8th!
I have 3 teens (2 in HS and one in college) and my high schoolers have gone to several camps this summer that take up their phones and they are so much happier when they return and admit that they enjoyed their time without them! *for reference we waited until 6th for phone and social media in 8th grade.
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I recently read research that said there wasn't any harm to delaying even if your child feels like they are the only one. I do feel like there is momentum starting in the direction of delaying smartphones and social media. I'm definitely for it. Hope it continues.
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I say hold out as long as you can. It’s is SO hard and they will try to wear you down. We got our now 9th grader a phone in 7th bc we were in the thick of coming back from covid and the bus situation was a hot mess, but I’m holding out as long as I can for our now 7th grade girl. My 9th grader has no social media and very tight restrictions on his phone. He’s given us 3 power point presentations on why he “needs” Snapchat, but we just keep saying no. It’s so hard but so worth it.
My thought is we as adults have a hard time managing the addiction to our phones and they just aren’t mentally mature enough to do so.
Stay strong and I will as well
